I like to think of myself as a fairly sophisticated guy when it comes to computer stuff. Hardware? Check. Software? Check. I mean, I’m not an expert or anything like that, but I am clearly head and shoulders above the average computer-using consumer. Built my own computer. Love to dive right in to new software. You get the picture (pun TOTALLY intended) (hold it…..I need to pat myself on the back for a tick)
Well, last night I decided to do something new, exciting, brave and adventurous; I opened up my Adobe Photoshop Elements 6.0 software and intended to play around with my .CR2 (Canon-speak for RAW image files) files. (insert sounds of trumpets blaring, hands clapping and lots of “Hooray! Hooray!” being shouted to and fro) Sure, I’ve had the camera for about 3.5 months and I have been shooting RAW almost all the time (along with .jpg), but I hadn’t yet felt secure enough to take the plunge into RGB, white balance, temperature, tint, exposure, brightness, contrast, clarity, vibrance, saturation, sharpening, noise reduction, layering, sponge tools, blur tools, clone stamping, straightening, magnetic lasso tool (magnetic lasso tool? what the fuck?), unsharp mask, filters…..and it goes on and on and on.
Can you see why someone, someone who isn’t usually timid about software, might be apprehensive about taking the plunge?
So, there I was with the Adobe Photoshop Elements 6.0 open. I selected File (can you feel the tension mounting?), then Open (nail biting stuff, eh?), then I worked my way through to the requisite folder which held my lovely CR2 files (on the edge of your seat, aren’t you?) and I double-clicked upon one at random (Ewww! Clean that off your computer before it dries you perv.)
Adobe Photoshop Elements 6.0 clicked and whirled away on the hard drive and in the RAM and after a few seconds a message popped up that said something like “Hey asshole. Your fucking file isn’t recognized by this ace software. Are you fucking stupid or something? Now piss off.”
Hum. Not exactly the auspicious start which I had been anticipating. But at least now I could say that I had been justified about being timid and insecure and such!
I tried a few other of the .CR2 files and it was the same response each time. Damn. Now what? Well, what does any good computer-oriented person do? They go online and search for other poor sods who have had the same problem and have hopefully found an answer and wish to share it with the world. And so it was Google-time.
I eventually found a blurb on an Adobe support webpage that spoke about the need for a more up-to-date RAW plug-in file for those of us using cameras such as the Canon 40D, amongst others. I read the directions and it all seemed very straight-forward and simple. Simple enough for me. But it was late and I didn’t feel like getting involved in moving files, downloading stuff, moving things around, etc., so I bookmarked the page and left it for today.
However, there was something of a bonus to this stupid situation. While searching for help with this issue I came across a webpage (not on Adobe’s site) that talked about a bit of software from Microsoft that can be installed to Windows XP that will allow a user to view thumbnail images of RAW files as well as to view them in Windows Explorer. Aces! I bookmarked that page with the intent of downloading that little gem the next day as well.
So here we are today and the download and installation of the more recent plug-in file has been completed. Excited about the prospect of seeing what sort of mayhem I could cause with Adobe Photoshop Elements 6.0 I immediately opened it and selected a .CR2 file. When it finally opened it was simply a white screen. “What?” thought I. Must be a mistake of some sort; a glitch. I elected to try the next .CR2 file and the same exact thing occurred again. “Huh? This can’t be right. Oh fucking shit.” I thought. One more go, eh? I tried a .CR2 file from another folder and THIS one opened right up in all it’s glory. You would think I’d be thrilled, but instead I was busy seeing the glass half empty. “Well what the fuck is up with the other files then?”
I closed Adobe Photoshop Elements 6.0 and opened the folder containing the .CR2 files that were giving me a headache. I also opened the companion folder, which contains the .jpg versions of the .CR2 files. It was here that I noticed there were no .jpg files that had the same file name as the questionable .CR2 files. “What???” thought I as it was becoming certain that my brain was going to explode within my head. And then it hit me.
Yep. Smacked me like a batter aiming for six at Lords. (can you really believe I’m an American?) In this group of photos were about five that were so completely overexposed that they appeared completely white and I had deleted the .jpg version of these files when I first saw them at home on the computer, but I hadn’t done the same to the .CR2 versions. ASSHOLE!! Complete and utter asshole. I shouldn’t be allowed to have either a nice camera or a computer. They should be taken out into the street and run over by a large UPS delivery truck. I am completely unworthy. Shameful.
I’m not going to regale you with the story about the installation of that bit of Microsoft software. But that’s because I haven’t yet installed it. Hells bells……there’s a white paper published along with the downloadable file and I’m not about to install ANY software that comes with a white paper without having read the white paper first. Especially not after this entire fiasco with Adobe’s Photoshop Elements 6.0