Lucretia, My Reflection

I’m actually going to be sort-of unavailable for a few weeks. While I will make time to visit other folks blogs and Flickr sites (and leave comments because I KNOW you cannot live without my rapier wit) I’m likely going to be too busy to post either blog entries or pictures.

(Oh….please don’t cry. No. It’s okay. I’ll be back. It’s just a few weeks. Here…..let me wipe away that tear……all better?)

I’ve got some ‘work’ to complete and then I will find myself out-of-town for almost two weeks while I do some work for an old employer and friend, and then go visit my grandmother, who lives in Wisconsin. But I want to say a few things before I temporarily disappear (now don’t start crying again…I told you I’ll be back soon enough….you’ll hardly know I was gone…)

First, to those of you who drop by on a regular basis: you’re aces. Not that the other one-off folks aren’t fine too, but I’ve been so very happy to make your acquaintances. Everyone is so pleasant, easy-going, and supportive and I hope you have found this electronic relationship to be satisfying as well. Really. You folks are great……except for that part about blowing dandelion seeds everywhere……I’ve simply GOT to draw the line someplace!

Second, this has certainly been an interesting, albeit short thus far, journey. When I started this blog my first main entry discussed the process of decision making regarding the purchase of equipment. During the time I was going through the decision process I had done one thing, which I have come to regret: I lied to myself. Deluded, if you will. I really wanted to make the jump to a dSLR because I enjoy photography and my handy and useful digital point-n-shoots simply didn’t cut it. I imagine we’ve all been there with our p&s models….too slow to snap the picture, white balance off and no way to fix it, lens quality only so-so, etc. But for me there was the issue of justifying the expenditure of so much money on what basically is a novelty. Having been unemployed for so long (and with no real hope of a regular and ‘real’ job on the horizon) I was having great difficulty convincing myself that this desire for a dSLR was reason enough to warrant the cost, even with the wife’s permission.

So I did something I don’t normally do: I lied to myself. I take pride in the fact that I believe I understand myself very, very well. This isn’t to say that I think I’m perfect, quite far from it, but that good or bad I understand my motivations. However, and in this instance, I opted to delude myself into believing that the purchase of a nice dSLR kit would allow me to do ‘artsy’ things (thanks to all the lenses and options a dSLR has) and possibly make some cash on the side by shooting whatever for whomever. But the truth was much simpler: I just wanted the ability to take better pictures and that required better kit than my Canon A630 digital p&s camera.  And I should note that these things are not outside the scope of possibility, but that they aren’t probable.  I’m not an artist.  I understand the basics of photography; nothing more.  I just wanted to have the requisite equipment to allow me to do what I had been doing with my digi p&s, but be able to do it better.

It doesn’t take a great leap of the imagination to see why I lied to myself. Money being constantly tight and a long list of things that need to be done to and around the house meant that the expense of purchasing a dSLR was, and remains, frivolous. It wasn’t a necessity regardless of how much joy it brings me. (and I know it doesn’t sound like I’m always having a good time with my new kit, but trust me; I AM! It’s just more fun to bitch about the stupid things that don’t work out and that makes for better blogging!)

So….to help me along the path towards purchase (and recall that I put this off for almost two years) I told myself…no….I lied to myself to help remove the barrier of cost so that I could make this purchase. Maybe this is the real reason I opted for the less-expensive Canon kit over the Nikon D300? Maybe it was my way of mitigating the damage I foresaw of having to make payments for a year (but without interest!) on what basically amounted to a purchase based almost solely on lust. Of course, if this was only lust I SHOULD have purchased the Nikon D300 as my nipples harden just thinking about it.

But no matter how frivolous the purchase, no matter how unnecessary the acquisition, no matter what better things could have been done with the money, I’m EXTREMELY happy, nay…thrilled, to have this Canon 40D as it finally allows me to do the very thing I’ve wanted to do: take better pictures!

Of course ‘better’ is VERY much open to interpretation here…….

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2 thoughts on “Lucretia, My Reflection

  1. Oh, so I shouldn’t bring dandelions to your house, stand in the front yard and blow them? Damn! I was going to show you how much fun it was. 😛

    I am sad that you will be “unavailable” for a few weeks but do understand things need to be done, work and visiting family. All completely acceptable. I do look forward to a good chuckle everyday, SO when you return to blogging, I expect to have some side stitching, breath losing laughter from reading your post! You will have adventures, yes? Keep notes and all that?

    🙂

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