Odd… I never wrote an “About” page for this WordPress blog. Not when I first put it together. Not in the intervening years. Nope. Not until now. Some 3.5 years later.
The bottom line is this: I’m an amateur photographer in search of enjoyment. It’s actually one hell of a bottom line.
Over the last 3.5 years I’ve fluctuated wildly in my feelings for this endeavor. This hobby. It started out so simple, but in time I felt this overwhelming need.. urge.. to make it something more. Not necessarily a profession, but something more than a simply hobby. And I beat myself up over it too. I didn’t feel as if I had made any real progress in those first two years. Some days I thought I should give it up.
But with more time and a more relaxed attitude I discovered I was trying to push my hobby into something I didn’t really want it to be. I thought that because I had been shooting for a while I had to do something… anything… to prove my worth as a photographer.
What a load of crap.
I think the truth lies in that I’ve been long-term unemployed and in a decaying marriage. Both events conspired to leave me feeling as if my life were out of my control. That life was passing me by and I couldn’t stop it. Trying to make photography something more than a hobby was a way, a weak way, of trying to grab some glory. Some importance. Something.
But I’ve learned my lesson. For me photography is just photography. An opportunity to express oneself via imagery. A chance to see see the world in perhaps a slightly different way by catching a mere moment of it in a string of ones and zeros.
It is nothing and everything at the same time.